Stronger

Well let's see, here lately I have been really depressed and down in the dumps, stressed out to the max, and working, and studying, yup it's offiicial I am a college student..ha like I say that like this is a surprise..well IT'S NOT....College is going so great, I'm pretty sure this is the best semsemter I have had yet. I love my classes at first they were very stressful, but I have passed all of my tests, turned in all of my work and I actually have developed a pretty good work ethic...I think. haha..Since I have been doing so much school work I haven't had much time for fun, the only time I have fun is when I'm with my family, Cameron, or his family. I got to see my best friends this past weekend though so that made me a little better! She always knows how to make my frown turn upside down bahaha...I have just been having a hard time with other things I'd rather not say. I just want them to change, get better, maybe..Not that things are terrible, I definately have no reason not to be thankful, I just have some lose ends I need to figure out how to tie them back up. I am growing up, I mean Cameron turned 20 years old today, we have been together since I was 15 crazy right? It has been so wonderful though. I am very glad I met him. I think I am jut going through a baby depression, because I, I I don't really know why I feel this way, I just want to make myself stronger, I want to find myself. I want to find who I really am as a person. I think I know excalty who I am I just want to make sure of it.I am pretty sure I'm the girl who had really big dreams and put them on the back burner. I got afraid, and basically gave up and quit everything I ever truely dreamed of doing. Wow I'm such an idiot, idk if I could do it over again I don't think I'd change a thing. Who knows. maybe somethings, maybe? I know I wouldn't change my friends or my boyfriend, I would change, my attitude, I would encourage myself a little more I would focus on the important things, instead of things that do not matter such as my clothes and thing of that nature. I am going to try my best to find that sweet little brown haired girl who isn't afraid of yelling to the world and letting them know the things she wants to do!

Wheew wee!

Well school is now in full swing!! I haven't stopped doing homework since the first day of school. But I am really trying to give it my all this go around. I have been trying harder, and I am constantly trying to get some studying in! I think I am doing pretty well so far hopefully I can come out with all A's and B's this semster.. My family has been very supportive and great. Cameron started back to school so he is at it too he is doing great with actually going to his classes and keeping up with this assignments and all that good stuff. I know he can do it and I am so very proud of him for going back! His 20th birthday is coming up this Monday, I bought him a new smartphone! He loves it and yes I couldn't keep it from him I gave it to him early lol. But I have a surprise in store for him if all works out they way I want it to. Anywho I just wanted to update and hopefully I will have some freetime in the next couple of days to tell you how school is going. Oh yeah and I go to re-take the Nursing exam on the 4th!! Prayers are needed! :)

Why can't this be easy?

Life, Love, Family? Okay where do I begin? Well the past few days have been good I worked alot and got to spend today with my sister and the best boyfriend in the world. I had to go to work tonight and it went well. My other boss called me today and really made me disappointed, well upset or maybe even a little bit sad. It seems llike I can't do anything right for her. I mean I try so hard to do all these things she has thought me to do and when I think everything is going to be just right and just the way she likes it she doesn't. Or in her words her husband doesn't like it. It honestly hurts my feelins so badly everytime she cuts me to the bone and thinks nothing of it. She is mean to me and I just stand there and take it.Yes she has done a lot for me over the past few months. I just I don't know, but anyways I have the day off tomorrow until I go into work at Sassafraz. I think it will be a pretty good night:) I also started back to school last Thursday. This semster is going to be pretty easy I am just going to have to stay on top of my homework and due dates for my assignments. I am also excited that Cameron is starting back to college! Yay for him he sat out last semster so he gets to return this time to study hard! I'm so proud of him:) Cameron and I have been so close lately he is the love of my life. He spent the whole day with me until I had to go to work. I had an amazing time with him. After work I came home and had an amazing supper with mom. Dad cooked hamburgers and I cooked myself a baked potato that I WAY over-cooked. lol Sounds just like something I would do. It's okay though I got about five bites out of it, that's all that was left that wasn't hard as a rock. Haha anyway I feel so bad. I think I hurt my mom's feelings. She asked me to scratch her back and well I was in a hate-ful mood and scratched her way too hard, and made her cry. I made my mom cry she has been having a orugh time lately and I could suck it up and help her. I am a bad person. I need to get myself together and think about things I have done to her I feel horrible. I wish things could just be easy in life, but you know what they are not even close to being easy. But that is okay God doesn't put us through anything we can't handle. I love him so much for that. He makes us strong! I appoligzed to my mom and she said okay, I still feel horrible but maybe I can make things up to her tomorrow, maybe I'll bring her lunch or something. I hope things get better but at times I feel like she doesn't like me but deep down I know that she loves me and just doesn't like to show it. Maybe one day we'll have a wonderful relationship. One day

Well hello there blog, I've missed you! I have had a wonderful past few days, I got to sleep in on Monday because we got some snow! Me and Payton went to Walmart together and bought some fruit to make a fruit salad and it was so yummy! We love those days where we get to have a sisters day! I love my sister so much and I am so glad when we get to have those days just the two of us. Tuesday I had to work at Sassafraz and I had a good night we were a little bit slow but that's okay. Today I worked all day for Delise I had an overall good day. I went to my Granny's house on my lunch break. I love my Granny, she is always there for me when I need her. I went home and got a shower after work than I talked to mom and Payton than I went to Cameron's. He cooked his amazing soup and we had a very nice dinner. I love Cameron so much, thank you Jesus for him and my amazing family!

January 5th, 2011

Well It's been a few days since my last blog because I have been super sick. I had the stomach virus in Feb. I had it about two months ago and I had strep throat the week after Christmas! Than two days ago I got sick again, I felt horrible I am just now feeling better today.. Thank you Jesus. I took my Nursing test two days ago and I actually didn't do too bad!!! I was so excited I passed the Reading with flying colors and I missed the Math by only 15 points but I get to retake it on Feb. 4th! Yay! Hopefully I will make a 95 or above!!! I have found that I have gotten so much closer to Jesus now I have been praying more and talking to God like I used too.. Let me tell you I have found that when you follow God he will make your life more smoothly. I am so Glad I am trying to get my life back on track. I went back to work for Delise today and it was not fun. I have to get ready for Sassafraz work now. I'm ready to make some money!  Then get home and watch some DVDS My daddy fixed my dvd player in my room I love it!!Sorry this was so short!

All-nighter

Well Uncle Alvin's funeral was yesterday and it was so nice. He was in the  military so the funeral was military style, it was so touching watching them really made me appreciate the people who fight for my freedom more. Uncle Alvin was a great man and worked hard for the things he had during his life he loved his family so much. His wife my Aunt Joyce seems to be doing okay as of yesterday she is a strong lady and she believes in God. I love my family so much I hate that we never get to see each other that often when we all do get together though it is so wonderful. Today was my lazy day, I slept in until 11:00! I try my best to never sleep past nine because I want to live my life to the fullest lol. I watched movies with my family when I woke up and then we all got to cleaning the house. Payton and myself DESTROYED my room. Don't worry we put it back together. I went through all my t-shirt drawer and got rid of alot of older t-shirts I had so I can donate them to Goodwill. Goodwill is an awesome store and this is my first time to donate there, I'm pretty excited!! Tomorrow at one o'clock I have a huge test well it is to help me get into Nursing School. I will try to write some more tomorrow I have to try to start studying again. Please Dear Lord help me during this test!!!