Stronger

Well let's see, here lately I have been really depressed and down in the dumps, stressed out to the max, and working, and studying, yup it's offiicial I am a college student..ha like I say that like this is a surprise..well IT'S NOT....College is going so great, I'm pretty sure this is the best semsemter I have had yet. I love my classes at first they were very stressful, but I have passed all of my tests, turned in all of my work and I actually have developed a pretty good work ethic...I think. haha..Since I have been doing so much school work I haven't had much time for fun, the only time I have fun is when I'm with my family, Cameron, or his family. I got to see my best friends this past weekend though so that made me a little better! She always knows how to make my frown turn upside down bahaha...I have just been having a hard time with other things I'd rather not say. I just want them to change, get better, maybe..Not that things are terrible, I definately have no reason not to be thankful, I just have some lose ends I need to figure out how to tie them back up. I am growing up, I mean Cameron turned 20 years old today, we have been together since I was 15 crazy right? It has been so wonderful though. I am very glad I met him. I think I am jut going through a baby depression, because I, I I don't really know why I feel this way, I just want to make myself stronger, I want to find myself. I want to find who I really am as a person. I think I know excalty who I am I just want to make sure of it.I am pretty sure I'm the girl who had really big dreams and put them on the back burner. I got afraid, and basically gave up and quit everything I ever truely dreamed of doing. Wow I'm such an idiot, idk if I could do it over again I don't think I'd change a thing. Who knows. maybe somethings, maybe? I know I wouldn't change my friends or my boyfriend, I would change, my attitude, I would encourage myself a little more I would focus on the important things, instead of things that do not matter such as my clothes and thing of that nature. I am going to try my best to find that sweet little brown haired girl who isn't afraid of yelling to the world and letting them know the things she wants to do!